When it comes to mental health, it can be difficult to find the right words to comfort someone who’s suffering. While most of us know to avoid saying things like ‘just snap out of it’ or ‘focus on the good things,’ the fact is that saying nothing at all can be just as, if not more, detrimental.

And, right now, with your people possibly feeling anxious or stressed about returning to work, caring for vulnerable loved ones or the COVID-19 pandemic as a whole, you may be finding it harder than usual to start a mental health conversation in your place of work. If you’re at a loss for words, keep reading.

Ask how they’re doing

We’re not just talking about a quick ‘how’s it going?’ in the hallway or via a video chat; to really connect with someone you need to ask how they are and mean it. Don’t be afraid to ask twice either. Most people are hardwired to say they’re fine but if you can see someone is struggling, asking again is much more likely to yield a response. Do this with tact, approaching tricky subjects with additional colleagues on a call or, if you’re back in your workplace, in earshot of others is unlikely to help.

Give them your time

Make sure that you initiate a conversation when you can spare some time. If your people are still working from home, this could be a phone call or video chat. If you need to rush off in a few minutes to attend a meeting, it’s unlikely that you will be able to give the conversation the time and attention it deserves. If you unexpectedly need to leave, ask them if they want to catch up later. 

Keep it natural

When trying to open up a conversation about mental health, don’t worry too much about the situation. To make it seem less serious, you could bring the subject up on a walk with you at lunch if you have returned to your workplace or via your weekly catch up calls if you are working remotely.

Find their preferred method of communication

Sometimes people find it easier to express their true feelings via email or text, so don’t be afraid to reach out through these mediums if you feel it would be more effective.

Share your own experiences

Everyone has their own story to tell and once you start to open up, it can encourage others to do the same. That’s not to say you need to suddenly spill your deepest secrets or talk about anything you feel uncomfortable with, it’s simply about creating an atmosphere of openness and honesty. One of the main reasons why people don’t talk about mental health is because they’re afraid of other’s responses. Once you’ve taken away this worry, they will hopefully feel more comfortable to speak up.

Know when to retreat

If it’s clear that someone isn’t ready to talk, don’t push it. This may only serve to make them more withdrawn and won’t help with building a relationship of trust and respect. If you’re met with closed responses, let them know you are there to talk when they’re ready.